Up and down like a tart's nightie

As Big Chris says in Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, "it's been emotional".

My confidence swings constantly on virtually everything, and I haven't even asked for money yet!!! I doubt I'm going to get more confident as things progress...


I've been mulling these business ideas over in my head for at least a year, and through this process of mulling, I've defined & refined the business models hundreds of times. Starting from pipe dreams where I was going to make more than the GDP of some nations, now to something far more realistic yet still audacious. Something I know can make money and something that can be built.


Yet the confidence levels dip & rise like swallows on a summer's eve, with some taking a lead while others thoughts will dart up and take me away from that thinking to another plain, problem or opportunity. It really is harem, scarem stuff


I think this is a really great idea and its actually not that difficult to implement, just will take some determination, some supportive partners, some cash & bit of luck. We don't need to find the holly grail, we just need to assemble the components that have been proven to work before in their individual parts. But then I think, "Well why hasn't somebody else done it?". It can't be that I am massively creative & talented. its too straightforward. But may be its straightforwardness has been missed by everybody else, who is too close to the action & too involved, protecting their own interests. Then I think, jeez, I must have missed something pretty substantial out in my thinking, that means it won't stack up. Arrggghhh! But what is it?! I don't know!!! Is that because I'm not an expert in this field?!! But then again, if I was an expert would I have seen the opportunity... now I'm getting trapped in a logic loop!!! ok... calm down... I can do this... its easy... I just have to bring together & unite a disparate group of suppliers & partners and make it work... I've done that before... but how do I stop any of them nicking the idea and going off on their own???? Arggghhhh... I just need to micro manage them, and pick my timing... I need help on this.... I can't do this impossible task on my own... well I can take it so far and then see what happens... but that is not the key to success - I need to be single minded & know what I'm doing. I am. I'm just not doing it - yet!


I know I have to get on with this, as the longer I leave it the more frustrated I may become, the less likely I will do to get on with it, and the more chance somebody else will do it instead of me - and HOW frustrating would that be?


I doubt my capabilities at times too - will I be able to recruit a great team of people around me? Could I persuade people I have worked for / with in the past to come & work for me, not challenge my authority and still make things happen? Have I got the key leadership skills? How will I handle things when I am under pressure?

So these are the emotions behind it all - pressure of time, pressure of a dream, pressure of making it happen, pressure of not appearing stupid, pressure of bringing people along in the journey. And its all ambigious at the moment, with nothing concrete. And that's what it takes to be a leader & an entrepreneur - to work the way through the ambiguity.

And I know all of this is normal... its what everybody experiences not just when they are starting their own business but also in many different adventures in life! So bring it on...