Uping the ante

I wrote my last entry while sitting in my local tea shop enjoying a cup of tea and a couple of croissants, and as you could probably tell, feeling sorry for myself and trying to work out my next move.


And then the phone rang... my god! I had given up hope that my advertisement would deliver anything. So I'm trying to sound vaguely professional on the phone to a customer in the middle of a bustling tea shop at lunch time on a Wednesday, with clattering cups all around me. For some reason the customer didn't seem that distracted and was willing to see me the next day.

Suddenly I had to get my skates on... no more dilly dallying... I need to finish the proposition, print off some point of sale examples, and prepare for the meeting. Oh and I had to work out the customers location... Bollox! He's in deepest darkest bumpkinville! Why can't he be in glamorous west London???!

After bouncing the proposition off my business buddy, I went to bed trembling with a mixture of excitement of fear & hope. Hope that this would work. That this would be the breakthrough moment I had hoped for. That this would prove one way or another that my idea was good. But what happened if the customer didn't like it? Arghhh... My dreams were riding on the next 16 hours. Perhaps my whole life was being decided by the next few hours.


I met up with the customer (after a long & eventful trip!) and delivered my proposition. I could tell there was mild curiosity but was not getting a strong buying signals from him about if he really wanted this product. Looking back on it now, I think I had over sold it to him. I had made it too specific to his profession when in actual fact it was much simpler & wider than he was thinking. We chatted a bit more, and then I realised he didn't know I was offering him a no lose situation - basically I was going to guarantee his level of sales by a couple of hundred pounds AND he didn't have to buy anything off me. Suddenly his demeanour changed. He started to ask questions about how to make it work as opposed to the preceeding questions about its purpose and what was wrong with it. He had seen the opportunity - this was my chance.


He now unbelievably offered me more - his brother also ran the same sort of business and offered me an introduction to him, and he worked just up the road. Would I be interested in seeing him. I took the opportunity and this time made the sell far more simple. It was for everybody, not just a specifif type of person. I tapped into a general need rather than a specific condition! His brother really bought into it and started asking me lots of questions about how it worked, giving me loads of buying signals. In actual fact he made some additional suggestions about the product which I was like "why didn't I think of that?" and "He really wants that - that's loads of value to him, but little cost to me" (the Oxo cube / Treasure Chest scenario).


So I left there in a bit of haze. Both guys were up for the test. Both wanted additional things. Both had called my bluff. Now I had to deliver. Where would I get the Point of Sale? Where would I get a secure website? ARGGGGHHHH!!! Why do I always fly by the seat of my pants!!!!


Afterwards I spoke to my business buddy and he was over the moon. Our theory of making the first £100 was vindicated. I knew I couldn´t have done it without him, as every time he progressed I felt I had to push on, which in turn made me progress and in turn made him push on.


As if to confirm the feeling of constantly upping the ante, he emailed me the following day "I can't tell you how great it was to hear that your meeting went well. That is a truely momentous step!... it's my turn next to step up to the plate."


This is now a game of poker where both players could & should actually win the pot!

Up and down like a tart's nightie

As Big Chris says in Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, "it's been emotional".

My confidence swings constantly on virtually everything, and I haven't even asked for money yet!!! I doubt I'm going to get more confident as things progress...


I've been mulling these business ideas over in my head for at least a year, and through this process of mulling, I've defined & refined the business models hundreds of times. Starting from pipe dreams where I was going to make more than the GDP of some nations, now to something far more realistic yet still audacious. Something I know can make money and something that can be built.


Yet the confidence levels dip & rise like swallows on a summer's eve, with some taking a lead while others thoughts will dart up and take me away from that thinking to another plain, problem or opportunity. It really is harem, scarem stuff


I think this is a really great idea and its actually not that difficult to implement, just will take some determination, some supportive partners, some cash & bit of luck. We don't need to find the holly grail, we just need to assemble the components that have been proven to work before in their individual parts. But then I think, "Well why hasn't somebody else done it?". It can't be that I am massively creative & talented. its too straightforward. But may be its straightforwardness has been missed by everybody else, who is too close to the action & too involved, protecting their own interests. Then I think, jeez, I must have missed something pretty substantial out in my thinking, that means it won't stack up. Arrggghhh! But what is it?! I don't know!!! Is that because I'm not an expert in this field?!! But then again, if I was an expert would I have seen the opportunity... now I'm getting trapped in a logic loop!!! ok... calm down... I can do this... its easy... I just have to bring together & unite a disparate group of suppliers & partners and make it work... I've done that before... but how do I stop any of them nicking the idea and going off on their own???? Arggghhhh... I just need to micro manage them, and pick my timing... I need help on this.... I can't do this impossible task on my own... well I can take it so far and then see what happens... but that is not the key to success - I need to be single minded & know what I'm doing. I am. I'm just not doing it - yet!


I know I have to get on with this, as the longer I leave it the more frustrated I may become, the less likely I will do to get on with it, and the more chance somebody else will do it instead of me - and HOW frustrating would that be?


I doubt my capabilities at times too - will I be able to recruit a great team of people around me? Could I persuade people I have worked for / with in the past to come & work for me, not challenge my authority and still make things happen? Have I got the key leadership skills? How will I handle things when I am under pressure?

So these are the emotions behind it all - pressure of time, pressure of a dream, pressure of making it happen, pressure of not appearing stupid, pressure of bringing people along in the journey. And its all ambigious at the moment, with nothing concrete. And that's what it takes to be a leader & an entrepreneur - to work the way through the ambiguity.

And I know all of this is normal... its what everybody experiences not just when they are starting their own business but also in many different adventures in life! So bring it on...