My time machine... set the dials for 2016

I had another session with a life coach the other day, and we circled around the hairy topic of what I was looking for in the future and helping me make decisions about work, life, the universe etc....

One of the tools was for me to paint a picture of a time in the future that was relevant to me. This was my first big challenge... when in my future life was I going to be measured? This was part of the problem... I didn't know where I was going and didn't have a goal set for the future, so couldn't then work towards it. So in the end, I plumped for (randomly!) 7 years time in 2016...

I was then invited to brainstorm what the future held for me and then to reflect back upon that future to this time and place, generating a list of what had happened by 2016. Once I completed the list, I was invited to then prioritise my list, and my coach then interrogated & really challenged my priority of these items (but not the items on the list) and what became clear was that some were not the priority I thought they were and some were linked by cause & effect.

It was an emotional experience, especially the realisation of the shadow of my dad that I have created in my life, even at my age now. I don't think it will be the last experience with a life coach (as I've got many other issues needing to be resolved, e.g. self limiting behaviour...) and thus far its been very very helpful...

So I thought I would share with you the glimpse I have into this future with my list in order of importance...

1. I am on a path/direction for the future. I have clarity.
2. I feel stable; I have roots. I continue to be close to my friends. We are emotionally close, involved in each others lives; my family is their family and vice versa.
3. I have felt challenged and successful at meeting that challenge – this is my destiny.
4. I am financially secure – if I have an idea, I can go and do it; I am not constrained.
5. I am challenged by my father and have met that challenge and he respects me for that.
6. I am a catalyst eg. helping people take an idea through to selling a product.
7. I have broadened my skills, professionally and personally.
8. I am having fun.
9. I have brought fun and happiness into peoples lives.
10. I have helped other people (either directly or indirectly) as an inspiration.
11. I am set up to be emotionally, financially and physically supportive of my mother.
12. I am healthy and active.
13. I am married with children. I have found someone who wants to challenge me, who I perceive is (at least) equal to me, emotionally secure, respects me and accepts my challenge.
14. As a leader, people have met their own potential including myself.
15. I own at least one property – possibly London, Italy and Scotland.
    

The force is strong with this one

Last week, I did something that if my friend Kenny found out, he might strongly object to.

Now with statement like that, it might seem that what I did last week would be down right illegal, immoral or impractical.

But the reality is far less intriguing. I went to see a life-coach.

There. I admitted it. Kenny don't go mental!

For awhile I have been feeling listless about many things, and despite what this blog might indicate, I had not been feeling I was fully committed to getting my idea off the page.

So when a colleague who is studying to become a life coach asked for volunteers to allow his fellow pupils to try out their new found skills for free (normally they would cost up to £300 per hour!), I ripped his arm off!

I spent just over an hour with Jennifer (her name has been changed to protect the innocent, Kenny!) and at first it was a bit clunky, but at the end it was all worth it. I felt a clear understanding of where I was in my journey and what I could do to help me on the forthcoming steps.

We used a tool called the Force Field Analysis, and she guided me through how to use. First she helped me define what my decision actually was, and then what would it take to make this decision and what is holding me back, defined as Drivers & Constraints. Once I had a list of them I then scored out of ten just how big they were currently.

I was quite surprised just at the lack of high scoring Drivers I scored, but I suppose that is a reflection of just where things are right now and the lack of momentum I've been feeling. I was also surprised at how many of the Drivers were emotional where as most of the Constraints were much more tangible.

Now the clever bit... She suggested I use the things are currently big drivers to fuel the other Drivers which in turn will reduce the level of some of the Constraints I'm feeling, and come up with an action plan to build up momentum again...