Breaking Up Is Sometimes The Best Thing To Do...

For the past little while I've been using an analogy of romantic relationship to explain my situation with my employer.

We've been "going out" for 8 years and had, generally, a happy time. We've experienced a lot together, had fun and challenged each other. We've even been on holiday together sometimes for a city break (Rome, Barcelona, Frankfurt, Miami, Glasgow, Edinburgh etc) or proper adventures in far off lands, such as Japan.

But over the last couple of years we've both been asked, at separate junctures, about the future together. It's the type of questions your friends & family ask you after a bit in a relationship... "Is she the one for you?", "When are you getting married?" etc. I've been asked and ask myself that question and I know my employer has asked that question of me too.

And I think the answer comes something like this...

We both enjoy each other's company and get lots out of it. But it's just missing that little something...

For me what's missing is "growth". We have grown together, but it's not clear where else there is to grow. The company has its own ideas about where it's going, and I don't want to be part of that - it's not a bad place, just not a place I can see myself enjoying or find emotionally rewarding. The simple fact is I can't see myself happy together in 10 years time, despite all the fun, comfort & security I have now. And from the company's point of view, I've been clearly told they value me and want to make this work. However I'm not convinced that it can work for the long term - possibly a couple of years but not the long term.

If I'm frank, I've felt inferior ever since we started out - I felt I was chancing my arm and was playing above my league in life. And being insecure is never a great place for a relationship to flourish!

So should we both just be happy together because we're both "comfortable"? Or should we not waste each other's time in a sham of a relationship that ain't going nowhere for both of us and call it quits in an amicable and clean way? Well, we know the answer to that...

But the weird bit is that whilst working in Germany I was reminded of why this relationship is great - the values & behaviours of the people in the company. I'm not saying I am having second thoughts about my intended route, just that the frustration has ebbed away and I'm left thinking only about the good times.

When this is all over, I suspect we will remain close friends.