Saturday, 20 March 2010

Breaking Up Is Sometimes The Best Thing To Do...

For the past little while I've been using an analogy of romantic relationship to explain my situation with my employer.

We've been "going out" for 8 years and had, generally, a happy time. We've experienced a lot together, had fun and challenged each other. We've even been on holiday together sometimes for a city break (Rome, Barcelona, Frankfurt, Miami, Glasgow, Edinburgh etc) or proper adventures in far off lands, such as Japan.

But over the last couple of years we've both been asked, at separate junctures, about the future together. It's the type of questions your friends & family ask you after a bit in a relationship... "Is she the one for you?", "When are you getting married?" etc. I've been asked and ask myself that question and I know my employer has asked that question of me too.

And I think the answer comes something like this...

We both enjoy each other's company and get lots out of it. But it's just missing that little something...

For me what's missing is "growth". We have grown together, but it's not clear where else there is to grow. The company has its own ideas about where it's going, and I don't want to be part of that - it's not a bad place, just not a place I can see myself enjoying or find emotionally rewarding. The simple fact is I can't see myself happy together in 10 years time, despite all the fun, comfort & security I have now. And from the company's point of view, I've been clearly told they value me and want to make this work. However I'm not convinced that it can work for the long term - possibly a couple of years but not the long term.

If I'm frank, I've felt inferior ever since we started out - I felt I was chancing my arm and was playing above my league in life. And being insecure is never a great place for a relationship to flourish!

So should we both just be happy together because we're both "comfortable"? Or should we not waste each other's time in a sham of a relationship that ain't going nowhere for both of us and call it quits in an amicable and clean way? Well, we know the answer to that...

But the weird bit is that whilst working in Germany I was reminded of why this relationship is great - the values & behaviours of the people in the company. I'm not saying I am having second thoughts about my intended route, just that the frustration has ebbed away and I'm left thinking only about the good times.

When this is all over, I suspect we will remain close friends.

Serendipity?

As part of my crap juggling act, I intend to do some contracting to keep the cash rolling in, doing a mix of sales & marketing, innovation support and capability building.

I've deliberately chosen not to be proactive on this for two reasons:-
1) I am still employed and have had several false dawns when it comes to the next stage, such as my request for career break, so I would rather wait until I am well and truly on the outside before being proactive.
2) I NEED a holiday. I am shattered physically and feeling a bit in denial about the end of this chapter so I think I will need a month's R&R to help me transition.

But here's the funny thing... in the last month I've been approached by FIVE different people to do some kind of work for them, ranging from training, selling and commercial consultancy.

I know this is all down to the power of my network and how well I nurture that network. I need to be focused on it is that I offer and be clear on how I communicate it. If I'm candid, that's the bit I probably need the space & time for - I'm not quite sure what it is that I offer...

Do I offer something unique in a "jack of all trades" kind of way? A unique blend of innovation, commercial & marketing capability? Or do I focus on one particular feature and become an expert (Don't get me started on experts!!!)? Expert in Innovation? Expert in Customer Investment strategies? Or do I offer them all, but communicated in different ways...